First Worthwhile Rap

I’m tired of livin’ like the saint
Cause I’d rather be the sinner
When your whole life don’t make sense
And you can’t figure
Any way to live
Cept dying
Keep tryin’
For another day, in another way
Of lying
Bout the way it’s ok
I’m sick of it
I’ll admit it
Fine, I’m lying, I’m angry
I feel like shit

I’m tired of seeing my sister beat, depressed and lonely
I’ll tell her that I care but it never does a thing
I’m tired of every day seeing my mom and dad fighting
Over the stupidest things, can’t they agree on anything?!
I’m sick of the riches that I live in
The clicks that I get in
Sometimes want to break my window, feel the cold and know what it’s like to be poor again
But no more
Got to quit
My crazy thinking
Cause these riches are a blessing is what they say, I don’t believe em

Heaven hear my cry
I’m not asking for the perfect life
I’m just asking to be living more than I’m dyin’
And I know you’re there
You showed how you much cared
You’re still the only reason that I’m standing here

So I get on the internet, hit the music, turn on the TV
To turn my brain off but all I’m seeing
Is how somebody lied, some people died
And my tortured brain can’t stop thinking
In a second this half-diversion is gone and I’m moving
No time to think it out, how to make it better, I’m losing
Time to think till way late at night
Or maybe early next morning, I put some words in ink
Till I’m tired as hell and I go to bed worried
Sometimes it’s hard to believe that somebody even heard me

Again I was worried about posting this, oh well, here it is. I think there should be more to this, but I know myself as a songwriter enough to know I'll probably never put more in, so I'm posting it as-is. I only had the guts to post this when I wrote what comes right after this (which was typed several days earlier).