Raise a glass to 3 a.m.

It's my weekend and the week was short, so I'm making full use of it; probably gonna get to sleep fairly soon. For some reason, I just wanted to post something...

HAHAHA! Ok random break: I was was surfing through myspace to get some mood music going, and I bumped into this quote "Firefighters don't die, they just go to hell and regroup." For some reason that struck me as hilarious. Just had to get that out. Ok, end break.

I was reading this blog of a person I like to call an old friend... "I like to call an old friend", I'll have to get back to that. Anyway, she's a very transparent person; in fact, she's a bit of an inspiration to me and this blog. Anyway, she typed up a blog post about how she's changing her life, how she's getting rid of a lot of negativity. Call me messed up, but I was not happy about this; I was sad. From the way she wrote it, it seemed like she was trading her honesty in pain that made her so beautiful for just a scripted line. I'm not in contact with her so much these days, so I can only guess at the outcome.

Something I believe in so strongly is always being true to yourself, even if it's painful and hard to do. I don't believe becoming skilled at shoving your feelings under the carpet is feeling good, just like numbness is not feeling good, it's just an absence. I want to feel good, great, and I want to be awake to the fact that I don't, if I don't. There are plenty of times in life I've gone into auto-pilot and have realized this weeks, sometimes months later, and felt terrible, like I would never be able to experience these things fully, like I should have when I had the time.

"I like to call an old friend" What do I mean by that? I mean that there are some people that make a big impact in our lives, and yet we barely meet them and there are those who we see every day, and yet they don't change us. this girl has been one of those people to me, and I bet she had no idea. Should I tell her? If there's anybody out there? Let me know what you think.

Alright, I'm going to bed (most days I'd be getting up now). Even my Harribo gummy bears (which I swear are laced with crack they're so addictive) can't keep me up. If you read this and found yourself thinking about who you are, let me know. I can't say how much it would mean to me.

Always yours,
Me

Listening to 18 day of February by Lex Price
http://www.myspace.com/lexprice

I'm Back

After a time of having no, or very limited computer access, I'm back. In the next couple of days, or maybe weeks I'll post the backlog of stuff I've made. Look in the Feb-May timeframe to find em'. I'll put them when I wrote them, not when they get to here.

Alrighty, that's it

Currently listening to: It's About Time by Barcelona

MySpace.com/Barcelona