Why so serious?

Yes, that is a quote from The Dark Knight; good movie. Anyway, I have come to the conclusion that I'm too serious, I take things too seriously. I'm not sure why I'm so serious, but I'm not really liking this.

Maybe there have to be those people in the world that take everything more seriously than the rest, but even though I love to help out, I don't really want to be the sacrifice. To be the one who bears the weight of the world so everyone else can live easy. I want to live a little, to get out and just have some fun, but it's almost as if I don't know how to, because my fun always seems to take a serious turn, like I feel guilty if I have fun just for the hell of it. Maybe I just am not such a simple person to be satisfied by a rush or a "good time". Maybe it's cause I'm like any other man, trying to create his legacy and I see that this so-called fun won't do it for me. I don't know.

This is something I haven't figured out so I'll keep it on my mind; maybe something will come to me.

My blogs are a little boring, so I'm going to start putting a picture to each new post. I hope this works.

I've been listening to a lot of Thrice recently: http://www.myspace.com/thrice 

By snakemanrob on Flickr

A Little Pissed Off

I was talking to a Christian preacher this evening and he kinda pissed me off. My reaction surprised me actually. Anyway, this is what happened: He was talking about how some horrible things (specifically deaths) were okay cause the people were going to heaven. This made me think, what about non-Christians? What happens to us? When I was talking to him, I asked him about the non-Christian who jumps on grenade in war to save his squad, and the answer I eventually got was, yeah, the guy is going to hell. He said that this guy's one good deed didn't pay for the bad he had done, but he also said if Hitler repented on his death bed, he was saved. I don't know about you, but I think that's insane. He called it "justice"; I call it "fucked up".

So a man who does his best to make the world a better place and dies to save his friends, but has made a least one mistake, is worse than someone who spent their whole life working to harm his fellow man but changes his mind as he dies? I just can't accept that. I'm not saying that I'd like to see either come to harm, but certainly, if I had to choose, I'd choose differently.

This is one of the reasons I left Christianity. The heart of who I am is disgusted by those morals. I am all for mercy... for anyone, and I am certainly not for eternal torture for someone who decided to die in place of his friends, or even greater, for a stranger.

I just can't accept that, it's too much. Even if God stood in front of me and said "I am God, and this is what is right and wrong" I couldn't accept it. I would have to say "Send me to hell, I know these morals are messed up and I will not compromise". If there is a different viewpoint, maybe I could accept it, but this seems to be the norm for Christianity.

So right now, I'm torn between a love for the love in Christianity and a hate for the condemnation in it. I'm torn.

Currently listening to May it be a Sweet Sound by Briertone http://www.myspace.com/briertone One of those bands I love for just barely making it; just big enough to tour, still small enough to be unknown.