It Will Never Happen

It will never happen, but if we can't dream awake, why wake up?

My first question after the introductions would be: What does your name mean?

Maybe then I'd follow with the question: Can you control your dreams? We'd talk about the greatest experience we've ever had. Flying with no wings, visiting family long gone, running headlong into a train just to do it. Don't understand? Learn to direct your dreams, you'll never have a better time.

I'd tell her my pain, my failure, my fear. She'd tell me hers and we'd empathize.

We'd get drunk together like children who had never tasted alcohol and wake up and recover from the hangover. I'll make her some Ramon, and give her some Gatorade and we'll piece the details of last night together.

When I finally got to know her well, very well. We'd go out on the coast with sleeping bags and let the dawn awake us. I'd put my arm under her head, and she'd tilt her head towards me and we'd watch the sun rise over the sea. I'd push her hair behind her ear, hear the surf, watch the sun turn her face orange, and yes darling, we'd be so happy, you and me.

But I don't know who you are my dear, and it will never happen

Have You Ever Dreamed About the Sea?

Did you ever dreamed about the sea?
The crashing in your ears, the power,the peace of it all
The wind blowing off the waves
The birds flying overhead
The salt scent mixed with rotting kelp stranded from a storm
Have you ever dreamed about the sea?
No, my friend, I never have... but I can't wait!

War Song

As I lay down this gun
As I take off this armor
As I take the helmet off my head one last time

I wonder
I dream
I cry alone
I sing

I tremble
I fear
And I know
It consumed me

I walk back into the world alone
No one to watch my back
No one keep me safe and no one to protect

So I wonder
I dream
I cry alone
I sing

I tremble
I fear
I think
Is this me?

I'm good at destroying now
But it's time to create
I know I've become obsolete

And I wonder
I dream
Can there be
A different me?

I tremble
I fear
And I know
It still consumes me

The Big Rocks

Photo by Martin LaBar of Flickr

Someone was once trying to fill a barrel with big rocks, smaller rocks, gravel and sand. He filled it with the sand first, the gravel next and then started on the rocks. By the time he got there, the barrel was full and he had nowhere to put the rest, After so much wasted effort, he emptied the barrel and started again, putting the big rocks in first. In this way, he fully utilized the space in the barrel and it all fit. The meaning of this parable is simple: You must solve major issues before you can solve smaller ones.

The biggest issue I have is this: what is the meaning of life? I've determined that to the best of my ability. Without some compelling evidence otherwise, there is none. This is also known as Nihilism. While this is not the most cheery or useful of beliefs. Based off of my observations and my understanding of the world, I believe it to be the closest to the truth (and truth is something I value greatly).

For a brief period of time after I came to believe this, I thought my pursuit of philosophy was at an end. However, now that I have placed this biggest rock in the barrel if you will, I can deal with some of the smaller ones with some meaningful (or completely meaningless, considering it's coming from a Nihilist) context.

The next rocks? This one comes from my reading the famous sci-fi "Dune" (just started reading the book): Government. What do I think about governments? What should their goals be? What type is the best? Democracy or something else?

I believe the current form of government in the United States is largely reactionary and except for basic functions (maintaining roads, stuff like that), it is unable to make commitments to long-term goals. I also believe that this is leading to America's demise. Our politicians are primarily activists as opposed to political thinkers and I think that should change, but I don't know what system would cause that. I will have to research and study and it will probably will take a while, but that is my current focus.