A Memory Forgotten

It's been a while since I did this. Half poetry, mostly not, lines, few rhymes; meaning.

I've seen beauty when I was 16
Turn to ugly when I'm 22
And dreams at 15 turn to demons at 19
So what is stable and what is not
Is it worth a try at a definition?
Beauty is in the eyes of the beholder, and the beauty lasts a day
And the beholder lasts a lifetime

I can't even see an instant
Can't see the trees for the forest
Or a raindrop for the pouring, pouring rain
Time stretches on for years
In every direction but here
Right now is a void
Bordered by shining lights and barbed wire fences
Both places that aren't reality
I maintain the norm forever, the forever me
A solid ash, in a city of oaks
Trying to grow tall and feel the sunshine on my leaves

I grow silently and no one sees me
They think I'm the budding seed I was at 16
But I'm scarred and battered
I survived the storm when the oaks branches split above my humble stump
I didn't burn when the forest went up in flames
And I haven't been spared like you
So no, no, no you don't know me anymore
And you really don't want this close to you
Let me retreat before you think I could be the one
And let me speak a bit of wisdom before I go

A philosopher and a sage is all I am
Lonely from town to town
A traveling preacher with no flock to save
No money to make
There will be no pearls at my gate
But a piece of steel I forged
And my fence will stand when yours crashes to the ground

Reality, worth maintaining?
Well maybe, maybe not, but I choose to believe so
I build my gate from steel, but what does it defend me from?
What do your pearls give you?
Only the dead can answer that

A hell of a day
I'll walk into eternity and on to obscurity
When a stranger mumbles my name in a graveyard and walks on
It'll be unreadable eventually
And it's all gone again
A memory forgotten

I was listening to "The Truth" by Handsome Boy Modeling School when I wrote most of this. I also made an audio recording of it which I actually like, which is really strange. I usually hate to hear my own voice. I'm glad I've been getting back into the normal groove of semi-poetry and more straightforward talking. I've got more to say, and I'd really like to say it tonight, but I have to be up early, so I'll just be off to bed. Goodnight!