Alone at Home

I've had a rough time of it recently. As any faithful reader of my blog would know (which means no one), I am not a Chriatian at all. I'm Agnostic and lean alightly towards Athiesm. Recently though, I've been on vacation at home and I don't know how to act.

It's wierd, people (mainly family) talk to me about the Christian stuff and expect me to agree with them. For example, my mom and I were talking politics and I expressed concern about Obama's policy on Iraq. Now I disagree pretty strongly with his plan of getting U.S. forces out in 18 months; I think has the potential to reverse all the good stuff that happened there in 2007. My mom simply stated "No matter what happens, it's in God's hands". I wanted to say, "Yeah! And tell that to the Marine I met who spent 4 tours in Iraq, who's hard work, who's buddies deaths suddenly means nothing, tell that to him!" I don't want to sound like things like this have to eat at us, but at least the fate of a country that ours is directly involved in should cause some sort of response, not a God-given apathy.

My family is Christian, my friends are Christians, and here I am, an Agnostic who everyone thinks is a Christian. I haven't broken the news to anyone; I don't know if I should. It may not be fair to them, but I don't want to be treated like an enemy or a "lost soul" by the people that are my base. A friend of mine asked me the question directly, in a joking manner, but directly, and I was stunned, scared I'd have to lie to keep the secret safe. I'm just glad the topic changed before I had to answer. I know I'm living a double life and I'll just be glad to be away from it. It's an aweful thing to be scared of rejection by your own family for something that is more personal than your relationship with them.

Currently listening to Boulevard of Broken Dreams by Green Day