Rantings About Life

I know it's the 5th of July and thousands of people are talking about patriotism and all, but honestly, that's the last thing I want to talk about. It's been a long week; thank God for the four day weekend.

So I'm going to write some rantings about life (never woulda guessed would ya!) . I've found that no one really cares what you did with your life, they care about how you influenced them. That's not just something like "Oh, he saved the lives of 200 people in Africa by fundraising" or anything, it's something deeper. Sometimes I get irritated with those "We need to feed the world!" people; not at all because I want the world to starve, but because I think everyone misses the point when it's about a number. I don't want to help 400 people, I want to help that person. No one ever laid on their death bed and said "Bring me the award, the one saying I saved all those people" or "Bring me the newspaper that talks about this. Let me see the good I've done." They ask for friends, family or pictures if they're the last to go.

I've done my fair share of good and bad for being 19, but I see faces on both sides, I don't see events. Damn! I just remembered a guy I helped train for search and rescue; I had completely forgotten about him. Just like I was saying, it took a minute to remember what the hell I had done for him, and I can't remember his name, but I remember the guy's face. I'm remembering a ton now... How we set up mock searches, how we taught that class, and that point saying goodbye where he thanked me teaching him and how it influenced him. It's not often that people thank you like that, and it's not often that you work together as a team as well as we did. It seems that we only realize how good something is until it's going or gone. "Don't it always seem to go that you don't know what you've got till it's gone..."

I'm out on my own here, in a new place, with few friends. I'm doing what I'm good at, but not what I love. What do I love? I love music. I LOVE search and rescue. If I could make it a job I would, but I can't. It's the joke among SAR junkies that we're all trying to find a way to do it full time. The best days are spent doing something hard, something meaningful and doing it with people that love it as much as you. It doesn't happen much, or at least it doesn't seem to.

My mind just decided that it is done with this rant, no decision of my own. Oh well.

If there's anybody out there, give me a hollar!

Ciao!

Oh! I almost forgot, here's a song I've been listening to recently. It captures the mood I'm in now. As I'm Leaving by David Gray http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=FujxM71Hc3c