My Name is FEAR

The days go by quickly now
and there's little meaning to guide them
I lost the drive to make the world a better place
cause I can't predict what the outcome of my actions really are
and all fades to a more stready shade of grey

The days go too quickly now
I'm only 20 now, but I'm starting to worry my scraped up knee doesn't have what it take to heal again
how much abuse can our bodies and minds take?
A chilling question at my age
I'm starting to see time will take me more quickly than I'd like to see

I drive too quickly now
Cause realizing my days are numbered I feel a need to make the moment worth it
Scared to death of death but try to calm the fears with an adrenalin rush
I know this is dancing with death, but it's better than waiting for it to slowly drag me from you
Always know this demon is my own, it has nothing to do with you, know I love you so much I'd sacrifice what little I have, the little I am, for you darling

I'll die too quickly dear
If by a bullet or a bomb
A car wreck or a plane crash
By lung cancer from the tabacco I smoke
Or asfixiation if I gag and choke
Life is alreay sceaming its brevity and it chills me
Knowing my best years are getting close to halfway done

These are the words of an honest man who fears more than he ought
That is scared he will not be remembered
That is scared to be remembered for his sins
And is scared to not be remembered for the good in him

Cry for me when I am gone, my name is FEAR

Smoke Another

Thanks to LizzieVPhotography for the image

http://www.flickr.com/photos/lizzievengeance/

A day starts with another plain sunrise
As if the sun is saying "Yeah, I'm here, get on with it" in a dull sort of way 
And then the sun sets in the same plain way 
Like everyone forgot that this day was worth something 
Begged a girl for cigarette and she obliged 
But I read her so wrong, and she walked away 
Finished the cigarette to the stub alone 
Realize now that I did nothing this day 
Pick up the worn pieces and gather them together again 
Forget what this song was about with smoke on my breath 
A bit angry, a bit tired of it all 
These things I don't understand 
Fuck that! What the hell am I doing here? 
In this land with no soul 
Saving the world without a cure 
Just get the fuck up and give them another reason to believe in humanity 
But they'll never see us 
Cause the news does a good job treating us like god 
And we quietly smoke another cigarette, and fuck away another day 

We have nothing left we can do or say
Cept exactly what we we're told to do
By some polititian with a big voice and a narrow mind
Who doesn't realize that it doesn't matter whether or not we fight
Kill one day, save the next, but it's all the same
A dying kid in Etheopia could have been our reason to live today
But it wasn't our job so he fades away
It wouldn't have mattered anyway
His life was ticking on a random AK round
That would have flown it's 6 feet into his brain
Cause he's the wrong religion or he's got the wrong blood flowing through his veins
It's too much to think about
Smoke another cigarrette and fuck the day away

A bomb on a terrorist
Fucked up his house and familiy
Made a murderer of his surviving son 1 or 2 years early
But what difference would it make
We'd be after his murderous ass later anyway
In a culture so fucked up it seems it can't be beat
Kill the perpetrators but their gods get stronger
No reason to try and reason that one out
Smoke another cigarette, fuck away another day

Fuck this quiet life, and fuck the haters, fuck those who think they what the fuck we're doing wrong, because every solution is problem, and there is no right answer to these problems we face
We're the tools to change the face of the evil that bites us
And I'm tired of it
Smoke another cigarette and fuck this night away

Nervous

why am I so scared
these days can be decieving
giving way to fear
in an open field with no danger near

Why is this so hard to believe
It's all in my mind you see
and my mind is a hard thing to break
and even harder to fix

consequences for anything
and this is eating me
cause I'm afraid I'll never make it through
in a lonely land with no compromise

Still scared to live and die
gotta keep the wheels spinning
got to keep the lifeboat floating
gotta keep dragging one foot in front of the other
and maybe I'll outrun the fear

I'm scared of everything it seems
I'm ashamed to say this is me