Poetic Rant-Missing Stuff

I’m tired now
Of going round and round
I want to breakdown
Or cry out and release
But everything
I still hold in me
I see faces I remember
I see people that I know
I want to forget
I don’t know if it’s better
To never have known
To never have felt
What it is
To be alive
Cause death does not feel like death
When you’ve never been alive
So am I still alive?
Or have I died?